Other Voices - David Sheedy - 2
An Amateur’s Guide to Being, part 2
Hello everyone. He-who-shall-always-be-smug tells me there was enough interest in finishing the list, that I get another shot in the spotlight. The first part of the list can be found here. Here are some more, though it is by no means a complete list!
Not knowing is okay. I might even argue that not knowing is better than knowing. I've used an enormous amount of my energy to support a reputation as 'one who knows'. The flip side of that was a fear of being thought of as 'one who doesn't know'. I've found that in not knowing I feel less pressure to perform (and thus more freedom to be authentic), AND I learn a LOT more from the people around me.
I prefer being known to being right. This connects nicely to #6. I think of all the times that I've had a discussion with my partner about who is 'right' and who is 'wrong'. There is no positive outcome to it. If my intention at the outset is to be known rather than right then we can reach a place of accord, rather than opposition.
No one 'gets it'. I've had several people assure me that they do; even encourage me by saying that I do. Rubbish. I'm sure they get it, but what does that have to do with me? Getting it is being aware of one's own truth, and it doesn't necessarily last. Someone else's truth is rarely (if ever) aligned with mine. I do amuse myself with someone saying that I'm getting it…which translated means 'you believe the same as me, so you must be on the right track'. And of course, I'm on my own track, not the right one. And even if I DID get it, so what? There's something else to get tomorrow.
I'm more in relationship when confused, then when confident. Why? Because when I'm confused I am curious, open, motivated. To get OUT of confusion I commit to learning more, to being interested in more than my own reflection(s). Confidence often comes out as closed with me. I learn less from a situation or the people in it. I've been told many times in Haven-ish courses that the 'true me' has suddenly appeared. Invariably it happens when I am the most unsure, the most confused.
We are all alone. I think that's why we are here, at this tiny virtual train station that Wayne has created. What do we have in common? We are alone, and interested in a connection that reduces that aloneness (as opposed to loneliness). I believe that courses like "Come Alive" and therapists like Wayne serve my purpose of creating that tenuous thread between my aloneness and yours. To be in relationship is to strengthen that thread and send energy back and forth between the two of us. At least, that's why I'm here. I'm curious; why are you?
Something to keep in mind as I go through what occurs; I make no pretence to acting on these realizations with any level of consistency or elegance. I think that's what being an amateur might be about.