Finding depth in vocation and purpose-making

Finding Your Way

One of the ethical crunches of the 21^st century is going to be making a life-style choice based upon whether you believe life is simply something we "show up for," or whether there is a purpose underlying life. If the former, people will continue to "grab for all they can get." If the latter, people may begin to change priorities before it becomes impossible to dig our way out of the mess we’re in.

In philosophical lingo, it’s the essentialist vs. existentialist debate.

This week’s article is actually sort of a continuation of last week’s. This week’s might be thought of as the opposite side of the coin. If you’re new to Into the Centre, see last week’s article.

(This article was also inspired by one of the points I’m addressing in my booklet, "Compassionate, Responsible Relationships.")

One thing existentialism posits, in the words of Maturana, is that "Life is a purposeless drift." This is a mature position and a good understanding to have. Often, when we rush too fast to "God has (or simply "there is") a plan for my life," we get stuck waiting for the message in the clouds.

I spent the beginning of November at a week long seminar. Jock McKeen, who, along with Bennet Wong, operates The Haven , asked us, "How many of you have had a calling?" About a quarter of the participants raised their hand. Many described this call as a call to something specific, like the ministry, or to a relationship, or to a project. I could relate, as I certainly, at one time, felt a call to ministry, and describe my exit from the church as "Feeling the boot of God firmly planted on my butt." (An "anti-calling???")

As I deepen my focus, however, I have begun to sense that whatever "calling" I have is much more a general leaning. A new friend wrote to me last night, and said a friend of hers felt a call "to be of service." I can relate.

Now, we can endlessly debate whether this "call" is me, talking to myself – attempting to give meaning to an existentially meaningless life. A dyed in the wool existentialist will say that I am deluding myself. My provisional answer, or reply, was gleaned from Paul Tillich.

Tillich has been described as perhaps the only 20^th century theologian whose work will make it into the 21^st century. I concur. While Tillich (of course) uses "God Talk," his work lives and breathes in an existential world. He is thus acutely attuned to the post World War II world, to the pain and dislocation of masses of people – those who live lives of "quiet desperation." (Thoreau)

Tillich argued that, from the perspective of daily living – of life itself, the existentialist view – we’re born, we live, we die – is true. Here’s the part I find so interesting, though. He also argued that, as we walk along this horizontal, existentialist line of life, there are moments when we "know" something beyond ourselves. We are touched by grace. We find new direction in a chance meeting or in a word spoken in the depths of our hearts. This is a universal experience.

Briefly, the essentialist view is that there is order, reason and purpose behind the universe, behind life, behind living. 

Existentialists call this delusional.

Tillich disagreed, and said that there were moments when the essential penetrated the existential.

To unpack. Picture life as a horizontal line. Birth to the left, death to the right. Linear, and existential. As we walk along, we have few choices. We can pretend to remember our past (our memories are notoriously faulty – we actually construct our past to prove what we currently believe about our present…) We can fantasize about the future.

In the present moment, we also have choice. We can choose to see nothing (life lived in a daze), see what we think is going on (life as a confirmation of what I already believe), or we can begin to play the game I’ve been describing in Into the Centre. We can come into the moment, (be present, show up) and enter into dialogue, and be open to see what Jung described as synchronicities (meaningful coincidences).

Tillich described synchronicities as essential moments – moments in time when we tap into something beyond the mundane, and in that moment, have a piece of clarity that we found through grace. He called these moments the penetration of the existential by the essential. In a picture, the horizontal line (existential line) is cut by a vertical, essential moment of clarity. And again. And again. If we choose to notice.

Which is why waiting for the sky to open and a pen to write on the clouds is not likely. Essential moments are subtle enough to miss completely, yet omnipresent. And in general, we are not subtle, nor necessarily open to the gentle voices of heart and Spirit. Until we give ourselves permission.

If this is a stretch for you, let’s try it another way. Every person is born with a skill set. (For a terrific view of this, check out Ben & Jock’s take on "authentic, actual and ideal" states in The NEW Manual for Life.) The skill set is fragile; I have a friend who has great artistic ability. Her parents wanted her to get into science, where there was money to be made. She was conditioned to repress her artistry. She’s reopened that repressed area, but has trouble surrendering to it. When she does, she paints with passion. When she blocks it (like mom and dad taught her), her paintings are boring.

So, let’s just say one project for life is to locate and examine our  full skill set, to learn more about whom we are. As we move beyond what was "expected of us," (see the "Rock" section in my book Living Life in Growing Orbits, which is posted here,) we begin to see that we have more depth than is immediately obvious. Our "calling," then, could be described as choosing to live more fully out of our complete skill set.

I use the idea of "vocation" to describe this. There are tons of "things" that I can "do" for a living – and I certainly have done a lot of things. I recognize, however, that my "calling" to "be of service" and specifically to counsel and to write, is more than work – actually, it doesn’t ever seem to be work. It’s not what I "do." "It" is who I am, and is thus my vocation.

If you’re not into God or Spirituality talk, stick to vocation and calling. Or purpose. Or meaning. But please, dig deep. Make this a priority with your partner. The world is filled with entirely too many people who are simply busy doing their thing without bringing forward their skill set. Without being "of service."

And the world is a more dismal place because of it.