A Message from  Wayne C. Allen A big welcome to those of you that  are new to  "Into the Centre"!

Well, the Body Art article didn't happen, but hey, who knows? Maybe soon.

Life's been busy, what with new clients new adventures, new business ventures. I look forward to filling you in on some of this as time goes by.

We're about to become surrogate grandparents. Our mid-20's "kid," LeAnne, and husband Dave are due to deliver Monday morning by c-section, and we're heading off to check out the aftermath. We'll just have to print a picture of the new arrival as soon as we lay our hands one one.

Wishing you a great March!

Warmly, Wayne

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Wayne

Enlightened Choice

Because of this, I've been to re-reading what I wrote back in 1999. As I actually enjoy reading what I write J , this has been an interesting experience. I'm able to see the evolution of my thinking around the topics we cover here, as well as seeing, ever again, our underlying theme. That theme can best be described as our penchant for self-responsibility.

Having looked back, I impress myself with my consistency of thinking on this topic. I recognize how easy it is to "get" the words that I write. I understand the innate wisdom of Into the Centre readers. But, for me, at the end of the day, it's not the getting of the information that causes us to move through those things that block us. The power of choice is totally contained, I would argue, in our willingness to actually live out what we understand.

I picked up my well-worn copy of Gary Zukav's The Seat of the Soul the other day, and tripped over the following:

"When you enter these dynamics consciously, you create for yourself the ability to choose consciously among the forces within you, to choose where and how you will focus your energy.

The choice not to choose is the choice to remain unconscious and, therefore, to wield power irresponsibly... Each decision requires that you choose which parts of yourself that you want to cultivate, and which parts you want to release." pg. 138

Notice how, "choicy" the language is here. Notice how little attention is given to figuring out "why we are the way we are," which, for me, is code language for escaping responsibility through blaming outside forces. This means that the idea that "this is just the way I am" holds true. The idea that "this is the way I am, and therefore I can't act differently, and you'll just have to put up with me" is irresponsible and also a load of crap.

Again and again, I return to that one line in Debashis' article from two weeks ago - "Do your work." The work of enlightenment has been put this way - there are no enlightened people, just enlightened actions. (After the Ecstasy, The Laundry, p. xx) Enlightened is another way of saying "conscious enacting."

I'm aware of my deep interest in this topic, and more so of my choosing to walk this path for a couple of decades now.

So, what might this look like? Well, we begin with a sense of the many and varied parts of us that float around in our heads, speaking in voices many and varied. (Check out our booklet, The Watcher, available as a free download on our site.) Each voice is clamouring for something. Perhaps there is a voice seeking peace and contentment, and another voice that wants to be the centre of attention. As we step back a little, we see that these goals are mutually exclusive.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus does a "rap" on the Pharisees. He discusses three aspects of Jewish worship - prayer, fasting and alms-giving (charity) (see Matthew 6:1-18). In each case, the Pharisees are accused of doing their thing for attention. They bring a crowd to see them give alms. They cover themselves in ashes when they fast. They pray aloud on street corners. In each case, the act is done for the benefit of the crowd and for the attention they receive. "Whoa, does he ever pray loud! He must be holy!" Jesus concluded, "they have received their reward." The reward was the adulation of the crowd.

Now, of course, the actual purpose of prayer, fasting and alms-giving is the deepening one's relationship with God, thus finding more depth of soul. Jesus indicated that only those willing to act "in secret" achieved these results. My favourite line comes in the "alms-giving section" - the left hand does not know what the right hand does.

This is how enlightened choice works. Whatever you seek you become. It is not enough to declare that you are wise. Wisdom is wisdom enacted. Or, it is impossible to be centred in yourself while at the same time defining yourself based upon the opinions of others. You can't work your butt into the ground at work and still have time for a rich family life. You can't be self-responsible while blaming your genetics or upbringing for your problems. You have to choose.

Which is not to say that the things about me that I choose to enact are the only parts of me yelling for attention. Often, the parts I choose to let go of are the loudest voices. A temptation, for me, can best be described as an internal voice that wants me to step off of my path. I choose, again and again, to refuse to enact what such voices suggest. Or, as I slip, to catch myself - to pull myself back to an enlightened choice.

Our goal, with Into the Centre, is to keep reminding you to pay attention to each choice that you make. Will I head in a direction I choose if I simply react to whatever is going on in my head? Or can I acknowledge the chatter, and let go of the voices that lead precisely nowhere? For, example, if I know a certain behaviour will be a source of contention for my partner, can I get over expecting her to do the "sorting out" ("she should get over reacting to my being an ignorant moron,") and choose to, instead, act responsibly? Can I let go of my need to judge, even in the midst of judgement?

I suspect each of us has the capacity to do precisely that, again and again. The self-responsible, disciplined choice is neither easy, nor popular, but it does actually lead somewhere I choose to go. I'm glad that so many of you, week after week, choose a similar path.

The Phoenix Business Focus

returns next week

Body Embarrassment

© Wayne C Allen, 1970-2001

Body Dialogue

Our recent forays into Body Embarrassment have led to many comments regarding communicating about the way we see our bodies. A couple of clients who subscribe to Into the Centre have asked for Bodywork with skin to skin contact, wishing to use my friend's approach to working through the embarrassment using touch.

Others have begun to dialogue with friends or acquaintances to get a handle on how they see their own bodies, and how others see their bodies. One reader wrote:

Wayne, your article (on Body Embarrassment) really struck a note with me. I'm just back from a workshop where I shared a large room and a huge bathroom with 3 other women. We got close, as people tend to at such things, and due to time and space constraints, were soon sharing the enormous open shower together. This led to discussions of nudity, our feelings about our bodies, and how those feelings had evolved over the years.

The youngest of us, at 32, is French and currently lives in Paris. She has lived for much of the last 10 years in the U.S., however, and has been married to an American. As is true with many Europeans, she was amazed and put off by our extreme modesty and embarrassment with our bodies.

It was wonderful for me to hear her say that she thought I had a beautiful body, that my breasts were lovely, that my back was beautiful and graceful... WOW! While I've heard those things in the past from men (the fairly distant past, unfortunately), it made such a difference hearing it in a non-sexual context.

What was equally amazing is that she seemed to have the same negative body image as I did - she looked fabulous, but was down on herself for how droopy and awful she looked after having and nursing her daughter. She's nuts! She looked wonderful and appealing and young and beautiful!

Clearly, many of us struggle with non-acceptance of our own bodies, no matter what the objective reality of the situation is. (I think of your previous writing about your friend who was embarrassed by her "fat" stomach, even though she's athletic and in good shape.)

For me, it was healing to openly look at these other women and talk about our bodies. I also had a couple of wonderful lomi lomi massages (a Hawaiian specialty, I think, done with special emphasis on love and healing,) and left feeling more at ease with my body that I've felt in some time.

---

I greatly appreciate the comments, and again encourage you all to keep looking, both at your own body and that of others. Slowly, we begin to re-shape what and how we see ourselves. Then, book a massage or work with a friend. The results will be stunning.

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The Phoenix Recommends:

About our recommendations: books, music or whatever we recommend are linked either to The Phoenix Centre Web Store, to Chapters.ca or to Amazon.com. We are affiliates of Amazon.com and Chapters.ca, and make a small referral fee if you buy a book from them, using a link from this newsletter, or from our web site. If you use the link in the column to the right, you can buy ANY book from Amazon.com or Chapters.ca and we benefit from your purchase. 

As almost everything we do through the web site (except my books) are free, this one affiliate program allows us to offset a small portion of the expenses of publishing. If you're looking for books, tapes or anything else (pretty much anything these days!) please go either to Chapters.ca or to Amazon.com through our site.  

The Essential Rumi -- linked to Chapters.ca
The Essential Rumi -- linked to Amazon.com

Illusions, Richard Bach -- linked to Chapters.ca
Illusions, Richard Bach -- linked to Amazon.com

After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, Jack Kornfield -- linked to Chapters.ca
After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, Jack Kornfield -- linked to Amazon.com

The Illuminated Rumi -- linked to Chapters.ca
The Illuminated Rumi -- linked to Amazon.com

Be Here Now, Ram Dass -- linked to Chapters. ca
Be Here Now, Ram Dass -- linked to Amazon.com

Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson -- linked to Amazon.com
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson -- linked to Chapters.ca

Language, Structure and Change -- linked to Amazon.com for purchase
Language, Structure and Change -- linked to Chapters.ca

Stories From the Sea of Life, Wayne C. Allen -- linked to our store
Living Life in Growing Orbits, Wayne C. Allen -- linked to our store

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