Why Bother?

Phoenix Philosophy

This is a continuation of last week's article series, which I dubbed, long ago, The Phoenix Philosophy. This article first appeared in the January 1988 issue of The Phoenix Flyer.

This month's article seeks to answer the question, "Why Bother?" We have been discussing the process of enlightenment for a couple of issues now, having begun by asking another question, "What is the meaning of life?" From this question, the question of necessity arises.

Meaning is defined as "having significance or import." Another way of looking at meaning is to suggest that the things that have meaning to you are the things that define who you are. So, if someone says to us, "My life has no meaning..." we can assume that this person will have little or no sense of who they are as a person. I would suggest that there are precious few people in this state who are happy about it.

Perhaps the single most important thing that separates humans from the rest of the animals that inhabit this planet is that we humans understand that life should have meaning. And we recognize that meaning is tied up in our identities. In other words, we are able to look inside and understand that we are unique - that we have, or should have, a unique purpose and meaning.

I am probably belabouring a point not in need of belabouring. But what is so interesting here is that, despite the drive to have meaning, it is equally axiomatic that most people would rather be meaning-less that have to work to find meaning. Interestingly enough, Western Society is predicated on this need for "easy" meaning. Our society provides us with an infinite variety of experiences and products designed either to give us a false sense of meaning, or to take our minds off of not having a meaning to begin with.

Consumerism, then, is the direct result of filling a list of "wants" designed to take our minds off of what we need. Most people buy (pun intended) into this system without much thought as to what they are really doing. It is similar to the person who wandered into the Phoenix Centre last month and indicated he was looking for peak experiences - "highs," I believe he called them. He wanted to climb to the mountain-top and stay there. In this case, the man was looking to substitute a technique for a consumer good, in the search for "easy" meaning.

All of this has to do with surface as opposed to depth. Let me flesh that one out. People who move from est to Gestalt to Zen to macrobiotics to whatever are searching for meaning. They think meaning is connected to peak experiences of such ecstasy and bliss as to be blinding. And they get such experiences being in the presence of someone or something that truly has meaning. The seeker then connects the feelings to the person or the experience, and declares the person or experience to be "enlightenment."

Then, reality sets in. You come down off the mountain. Now what? Well, most people head off, looking for another peak - another system - another person- another thing outside of themselves that will pull them back to the mountain-top. On and on.

Perhaps the better and more holistic approach is to stand firm and seek the depth of the system you are involved in. The wisdom that enlightened your teacher is not a superficial thing. That person explored the core, the depth, the truth of the system. And there they found not highs but stability, wholeness and truth. And in that process, the light came.

This is who we are are. We are designed to be seekers after the truth. We are designed to have meaning - and that meaning is totally wrapped up in understanding our true identity. We are the children of God, blessed with the freedom to explore and prove to ourselves the value we have. We have been sent off from the Ground of All Being on a quest to find out what it means to be a part of that which sent us out in the first place.

Seeking after meaning, then, is a quest. But not a buffet. You don't run around the table, taking a little of this and a little of that. You learn to appreciate each food in its fullness, before moving on. You realize that the food, in and of itself, is meaningless. It is you who has to do the work of learning to truly taste the fullness. The experience is yours. The work is yours.

Or there is the endless running that leads, like a dog chasing its tail, to a profound sense of meaninglessness. This choice, between depth and surface, is your game. In fact, it is the only game in town. Why not try playing it for its depth? The key is self-responsibility.

That buffet analogy really worked for me, when I re-read it. I am often struck by the number of people who simply dabble at life and at ways of being. There are more "one book, one course" people running around that one can shake a stick at. I suspect that this is so because people in general have been conditioned to think that insight and understanding "should" be easy.

The wise soul prizes, above all else, patience. There needs to be a willingness to begin a walk and to continue it for the duration. Learning, for example, to have a meaningful and rich relationship takes time, energy and endless practice. It takes the willingness to be totally revealing of all of you - your quirks, your childishness, as well as the easy stuff. It takes the discipline to talk things through, again and again and again. No running. No quitting. No blaming. And if the relationship is not meant to be, it takes courage to end it cleanly.

Approaches to life can be meaningless. I am reminded of the bumper sticker "The one with the most toys when he dies, wins." I couple that with the expression, "No one, on their death bed, says, 'Boy, I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'"

The time has come to narrow our focus down a bit, and commit to sticking with something until we see it through. In the Martial Arts, this often involves belts. Get to your Black Belt, and you finally know enough to actually begin studying the Art in earnest. Such it is, also, with the path our lives are on.

As I continue to say, find a life-mentor and listen. Walk down a path as you are guided, and learn from what happens around you. Learn from the health or sickness of your body. Learn from the length and depth of your relationships. Seek feedback from those who are your mentors. Remember it's a one-way street. Give it a decade or so.

Then, we'll talk.