The Phoenix Centre

The Fringe Dweller's
Guide to the Universe

Universal Rules

click here for the full list of rules

So, this is an old saw, an expression we all know and give lip service to. It is a cousin to last week's idea that "the world is exactly as you perceive it to be." The concept is grasped in the famous book by James Allen, As a Man Thinketh. The actual aphorism is, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." James wrote, "All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct results of his own thoughts." And this in the 1800s. (The link, above, is to a site that offers a free copy of James' book.)

This is a deep metaphor, and has to do with all of the levels of our "within." From a Bodywork perspective, it's quite the debate as to whether the way we think and therefore act leads to bodily conditions, or whether the way we carry ourselves leads to the way we act and think. Of course, it's both. Often, for example, getting someone to stand in neutral posture, as opposed to curling their shoulders or slouching will result in an immediate change, for the better, in their mood.

Equally as important is the recognition of the power of the way we choose to view our reality and our life stories. For many, there is not much choice about it. The ego project, that great effort at civilizing us and giving us an additional framework to understand our reality, builds deep-seated beliefs into us. People saying, "That's just the way it is," is a good indication of this deeply buried material.

Even more interesting is the ease with which many of us can get the people around us to "buy into" the world-views we have decided are valid. In other words, as a simple example, victims somehow seem to find people that want to play the game of victimizer. And, as long as everyone agrees to the game being played, there's no fault, no foul.

It's when we start to resist the games we're playing - when we start finding them constricting and overwhelming, that the drama starts. Now, let's be clear about this. Many, many people never get to the point of actively challenging their belief systems. Complaining about being stuck, attending seminars and workshops, reading books, none of this is indicative of anything. As we'll say next week, the process is all about actually doing something about the places where we are stuck. And that is an inside job that turns into actual change.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that Dar is the proud "user" of a new iBook. She's spending lots of time getting to know the computer, and setting it up as she goes. She was showing me something this morning, and wanted to delete it. I said, "click on it and right-click, then hit 'delete.'" Dar looked at me funny and said, "There is no right click on a Mac." Oh. Yeah. Learning curve.

Anyway, that's just an aside. Dar is busy collecting and writing down meaningful quotes, and is storing them on her iBook. What struck me was a quote from Anais Nin, one of my favourite writers and people. She went off to France in the 20s to find herself and to write. One of her routes to finding herself was to write erotic tales, which an anonymous benefactor paid her for. (see Delta of Venus.) He was quite critical of her early writing; he thought it was stilted and not very erotic. So, Nin made a clever leap. She realized that she could not write about that which she did not know. Intimately. So, she went out and began to have erotic and sexual experiences. She wrote: (and Dar had copied to her computer, as he ties it all together)

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain
tightly closed in a bud was more painful
than the risk it took to bloom."

Nin describes an arc of self-knowing that starts where the start belongs. Imagine the silliness and futility of Nin running around having experiences that fly totally in the face of her internal belief system. If she had made that choice, every action would have set off alarm bells and whistles, and she'd have been so caught in the judgements and the recriminations that her life would have come to a standstill. Instead, she threw out her outmoded beliefs, decided to see what she could learn by being open to new experiences, and began a life-time of walking another path. As within, so without.

Perhaps the key to this approach is the commitment to making a choice and seeing it through. Some people just think and never act. Other people "just act," without much thought or commitment. And the guilt starts.

On the other hand, acting and simply observing without judgement seems to me the better choice. I see this with Bodywork. In order to "do" Bodywork really well, you have to commit to showing up and actually doing it, and, and this is important, having the experience, no matter what it is. Often, as the process deepens, new material will emerge. It can run the gamut from deep-seated fear and grief to orgasmic passion and feeling. The internal commitment necessary is this: "No matter what comes up, I'm going to experience it fully." This will require breathing through and suspending judgement. And guess what? It's an inside job. Because that's where the game is being played out. It manifests outside in the actual "having" of the experience.

This week, look at your internal theatre and descriptions. Look for sticking points in the story you tell yourself. Notice how those sticking points keep your external reality from being what you want it to be. Then, go inside and begin to change the internal descriptions. But be pro-active. Not, "I'll have to think about this for a while." Rather, "Here is what I will think, and here is what I will do." As within, so without.