Karma Chameleon

The Zen Lifestyle -

On September 25, I started a new series of articles about Zen understandings. Herein is my peculiar twist on how a "Simple Presence" approach to life might be of use to you.

It seems to me that there are only two ways to live – proactively or reactively. I was reading another OSHO book the other day, this one called Body Mind Balancing. OSHO describes our "disconnect" from our bodies, needless to say, a topic of interest to me.

He says that we are conditioned, as infants, to be miserable and needy. Indeed, he argues that the opposite, bliss or happiness, is looked upon with suspicion at the least. He suggests that pleasant, placid, happy babies get less attention than one that is squalling, squealing, and constantly complaining. He thought that this predisposes kids to think that misery is the key to getting anywhere in life.

As you walk down the street, you are much more likely to see bland, blank, or scowling faces – and think this is normal. Seeing someone walking toward you smiling and laughing to himself seems, well, threatening or perverse. As the old line goes: "Smile. People will wonder what you are up to."

Let's just agree that we are predisposed to looking on the gloomy side of things – to looking for what is wrong – either with externals ("My diaper pin is poking me!") or internals ("I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm bored. Fix me! Fix me!")

And then, we get into a relationship and wonder why the two children can't get along.

Darbella and I have been taking Iyengar Yoga for more than a year now. We started in a Beginner's Class, which has, over the year, morphed into a "Level One" Class. Now, I consider myself pretty flexible (in more ways than one…) and I still notice that learning a new pose involves accepting a certain measure of pain as a matter of course. Our instructor says that the pain shouldn't get much beyond 3 on a 10-scale.

Some weeks after we started, a couple of women from one of the other classes showed up. One woman especially caught my attention. She commented on everything. She complained about everything. And she made it clear she knew what was going on – what was coming next, how to do the poses.

Which was odd, because she needed the instructor's help for everything. A simple backbend required the immediate presence of our instructor, along with, "Don't let me fall! Don't drop me! I'm scared. This hurts. YOU haven't set it up right!"

Then, and only then, she'd assume a semblance of the posture, all the while whining about the pain. She'd sniffle and say, "OK. Next time I'll know what you want me to do."

Now, likely she's done a variation on that pose multiple times – I know I have, and I've only been there a year. What's really going on is that she expects "mommy" (our instructor) to endlessly cater to her every need, despite the fact she is in her 50s. Pain (which is an absolute requirement for growth of any sort) is not "supposed to" ever happen.

The following week, I not too subtly suggested that our class become a "no whine" class. Fortunately, she's only been back once – whining all the time.

As new people join our class, the teacher, Fay, announces "Someone has declared this to be a no whine class. But you can whine if you want to," and grins at me. Interestingly, no one ever whines. You hear moans, and jokes, and grimaces and laughter, and shakes of the head, but no complaints. Because, I like to think, the members of the class have come to realize that whining changes nothing regarding the pain necessary for progress.

One of the main things to "get" is that we create every aspect of our own reality, and I mean every aspect. Another way to say this is to look at the concept of karma.

"In Buddhist teaching, the law of karma, says only this: 'for every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant depending upon whether its cause was skillful or unskillful.' A skillful event is one that is not accompanied by craving, resistance or delusions; an unskillful event is one that is accompanied by any one of those things. (Events are not skillful in themselves, but are so called only by virtue of the mental events that occur with them.)"    link

Now, the normal description of karma typically includes the idea of past lives, as in, "I must have done something really bad in my past life to deserve this." I'd like you to put that aspect aside, as this is not even close to the actual intent of the word. It's just a complication, and the last thing you need is some other distraction to keep you stuck. Karma is not a punishment. It's simply an explanation of cause and effect.

To see hot the quote above cuts to the heart of the matter, I want you to stop, right now, and think about all aspects of your life, including:

Money or debt
Job or vocation
Relationship(s)
Sex
View of yourself (self-image)
Your main daily focus (is it positive or negative)

How'd you do? How are you feeling about yourself, your life, and your relationships?

Now, here's the karma piece: every single aspect of everything you just thought about is a direct result of your decisions,
choices, and "paths chosen."
Not part of it, not most of it,
but every single bit of it.

Sure, you want to find something, anything, anyone, to blame for where you are.

But in order to move on, to finally reach a point of purposeful peace and contentment, you have to accept total responsibility for every aspect of your life.

You caused it, you set it in motion, and you made it happen. If you will not accept this reality, you will remain a perpetual victim.

Many are the people who come to me with long lists of what their partner is doing wrong, and some even expect me to "fix the partner" (who isn't even there!) in one session or less! When I start talking about what the person present with me has done or said, it's blank stares.

Your life is exactly and precisely what you made it and make it to be.

Where you are right now is the result of your past choices, and your present mood and temperament have a lot to do with where your head has been for about the last year. In other words, today was set in motion by you last year! And because you are so good at imagining and planning out imaginary scenarios, you unconsciously committed to where you are right now, and have denied any evidence to the contrary of what you believed and set in motion.

The way out begins, of course, today—how you think and what you tell yourself, today and from now on. If you want a different life a year from now, you must begin right now. And you must put as much energy into what you want (the new path) as you have put into what you believed and did in the past. No excuses.

Now, be clear here. I am not suggesting that you substitute blaming yourself for blaming everyone else. Blaming is not an action, it's an addiction! The key is to accept that you are who you are as a product of your choices, and to simply move on by acting differently. No blame, just self-responsibility.

When Darbella and I lead courses we always start (dancing is important) with The Eagles' "Get Over It." I have it on my mp3 player from when we were last at Haven, and happened to be listening to it with headphones. I'd never quite been able to make out the last verse. I finally heard it.  It goes:

It's like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You're makin' the most of your losin' streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak

You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick it's little ass

The time is now, and now is when we make things new again. If you don't like where you are, change your karma. In this moment. No blame. No excuses.