This Week's Article: Presence Presents, part 2
I have Xmas songs playing in my head. I recently downloaded Sarah McLachlan's new Xmas album, "Wintersong," (an amazing album) and I've been playing it over and over. That, in turn, led me to remember singing "12 days of Xmas" back in my "the minister" days. So, forthwith, and over two issues of Into the Centre, are
The 12 Presents of Presence
12. Appreciation for Your Body's Wisdom
11. Living Honestly
10. Embracing Movement
9. Committing Wholeheartedly
8. Putting Yourself First
7. Creating More Passion
6. Demystifying Sex
5. Changing Your Story
4. Being a Blessing
3. Honing your Loving
2. Getting on with it
1. Living in the Present, for a Change
6. Demystifying Sex
If you've read my book, This Endless Moment, you'll know I take a non-serious tack with matters sexual and sensual. I wrote:
"The reason sex continues to be considered some kind of marker in relationships is sexual embarrassment and immaturity. Sex is given great meaning because we are afraid to take it casually.
It's a hard thing to admit out loud to being sexual." p 70
Quantum physics teaches us that the universe is energy and potential – in other words, stuff is simply in flow and flux, and then is observed and comes into being. This is the state of the entirety of existence. For example, the old Zen-ish question,
"If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there, does it make a sound?"
The answer is simple: It depends.
There is energy that is created by the fall – a flowing outward of energy. It only becomes a "sound," however, if there is an "ear" to hear it, AND a mind to interpret it. (Or, as Jesus said, "Let those with ears, hear.")
Same with any sound. When Sally talks to you, her vocal chords vibrate and create energy waves (wrongly called sound waves.) The energy waves become "something other" when they hit an eardrum (not sound but transmitted vibration.) They only become something "real" when the sound is interpreted by the brain of the hearer.
This also explains why you understand what you said one way, and the person hearing the same words interprets it another way.
Everything, then, is dependent upon the interpretation of the observer.
Sex becomes a fascinating and passionate learning energy when we interpret it that way. That's the "take" of Tantra and Kundalini work. The energy (which is "just energy,") can be directed, turning it into a powerful force for our own awakening. Or, it can be made special, dragged out occasionally, and treated with embarrassment.
In 2007, find someone to explore your sexual energy with. Learn how to "make it work for you." Dedicate yourself to breaking open the blocks in your body. After all, you're in your body for a reason!
5. Changing Your Story
I just spent a session with a client I really like, listening her tell me stories about why she's stuck. Indeed, it's story, not stories, as all that changes is the name of the person she's presnetly contending with. I keep asking her, "And how is endlessly repeating a story you hate helping you to change how you are in the world?"
I spend a lot of time asking that question – I ask others, and I ask myself.
I have a couple of stories about being un-appreciated that I've been hauling out and flogging myself with since, well, forever. I've have reached the place where I now laugh at myself and give myself a shake. I certainly do not enact this story anymore.
Why?
Because the story does not work!
People argue with me on this one. "But…but… how can I just change my story? My story is right! I'm so hard done by! I need to get everyone on the planet to admit how badly they are treating me! How can I heal myself when I know I'm powerless?"
Well, yikes. See above, number 6.
Nothing means anything until you give it meaning. You don't like the way your life is going, change your story.
In 2007 nothing will move you further along the path than this simple truth – your life is exactly and precisely the story you are telling yourself.
Get this, and then do something about it!
(see # 2, below.)
4. Being a Blessing
I got an e-mail yesterday, the theme of which was a reflection of our egoic smallness in the face of the elegance of the universe. You can read it here. (opens a new page)
As you'll read, the writer's call is to get over ourselves (and our busyness,) long enough to "be a blessing."
In other words, to change your story from one long, pathetic whine,
and to get on with making a difference in the world.
Taken from John Lennon's Xmas song, "So This is Christmas," the key is in the remainder of the verse, "…and what have you done? Another year over, and new one just begun."
As I get older, time seems much more compressed. Six months flashes by in an instant. Darbella and I have been together 23 plus years. Where did the days, the weeks, the months, the years, go?
What have I accomplished?
I ask myself that question with compassion and with grace.
Have I been a blessing?
We stand on the cusp of 2007. You were born for a reason, never doubt it. So, what are you waiting for? The perfect moment?
Permission?
How about right now? Be a blessing.
3. Honing your Loving
Loving (an action, as opposed to "love," which doesn't exist) requires keenness and sharpness and accuracy, just like a knife does.
Sometimes love is a gentle nudge, like the last point (he says with a grin…) Never is loving about doing things that fly in the face of who you are. Loving is only possible when you are present, connected, self-responsible, and curious.
Presence means I am here, in this moment, and nowhere else. Not wool-gathering, planning my next speech, distracted.
Connected is an emotional sense of resonance. It's all energy anyway, so connection is allowing myself to open enough to actually feel the vibrational tone of another.
People ask me how I know what to say or where to "push in Bodywork." I reply, "Never an issue, as I'm open to the vibe."
Self-responsible people do not blame others, situations, or themselves. They are "simply present," and from their presence respond from their core to the situations they meet. Self-responsibility is all about working from my centre outward, with a clear heart and focused mind.
Curiosity is not manipulative. It's an acknowledgement that whatever is going on in your world is yours, and it, by definition, has to be different from my understandings. Because value you, I want to know more about you. And because I value you, I want to know how well your perspective is working.
Be more loving in 2007. Open yourself to the possibility of caring and compassion, with no need to fix anyone or anything. From this place of non-fixing, live elegantly, leave a mark, and be a blessing!
2. Getting on with it
I'm glad I wrote this point 2 weeks ago, as I can use it to reply to a letter I got the other day. Without getting into details, the author has been "self-exploring" since I met him in 2001. My sense is that he simply keeps coming up with more and more aspects of himself that he doesn't like or doesn't understand. I was discussing this with Darbella, and said, "He seems to be caught in an endless process of identifying aspects of his self, as opposed to accepting himself."
This is a universal affliction. People pick at the self-created scabs of themselves, and irritate themselves, and the exploration, such as it is, never leads anywhere except to more things to not like. The joke is, the stuff they are digging up is just a story they are telling themselves. It's not true," it's not, "who they are." Who they are is, "all of it, plus all the other stuff."
And self-exploration doesn't matter anyway. Because this kind of self-exploration leads only inward.
No authentic spiritual path actually leads inward. Take meditation. Seems internal, all that breathing and emptying the mind. But to what end?
Presence! And presence only happens out here, in the world.
When I stop talking to myself and judging myself and coming up with yet another label, I can simply be, and in that being, respond to life, to self, and to others, and thus to accomplish something elegant.
Because in order to leave a mark, you have to actually do something different!
(Are you noticing how all of this fits together? Good!)
1. Living in the Present, for a Change
Change only happens in the present moment. The client I mentioned above was regretting a past relationship. My question: How would that person (now dead) want you to live your life now? You can't change what's happened, but you can change "from now on!"
In 2007, dedicate yourself to discovering the actual moment you are living in, and stay there. If it ain't working, don't do it. Do more of what does work. Open yourself to the present that presence presents.
Blessings from Wayne & Darbella,
and see you in the New Year!
