the pathless path

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Reasons for Hope is a great collection of "hopeful stories," collected by my buddy Boogie Jack Gaskill. I contributed one of the stories. Right click on the link and save the pdf file.

Holiday Schedule
There will be two more articles in December—
one December 14,
and a “year end” post on December 21.
We’ll resume publishing January 4th.

This is an extra story for you.

Now, I know. Drama is intensely personal. You no doubt think that whatever you are facing is “really, really big,” and other people’s drama pales in comparison. And, you can’t for the life of you figure out why others do not see the awful terribleness of your issues, which you know are real, and scary.

Our simple Zen approach, then, seems perfect for everyone else, but not for you. Or, you “get it” with your head, but know that it won’t work in reality. (As you conveniently forget that you created that reality, along with the drama.)

So, let me tell you just an odd little story. Back in October, Darbella and I were driving down the 401, and I noticed a vibration through the steering wheel. Long story short, one of the belts had screwed up in one of our tires. We made it to Kal Tire. I mention them for reasons that will become obvious.

We knew we needed new tires, and had decided to put on snow tires. We hoped our crappy all-seasons could then go back on for a few months. In talking to the guys at Kal, we discovered that they had an All Weather tire that is certified as a snow tire, and also can stay on year round. One set of tires! Yay! 850 bucks later, out the door we went.

These are great tires. First snow, handled just like snows, yet feel like regular tires on dry pavement.

Here comes the Zen part!

We were in Toronto this past weekend, checking out Tut. We decided to beat it home, ahead of weather. I got in the car and drove to the door of our hotel, to pick up Darbella and our luggage. For just a second, I lost focus.

I nicked the granite curb.

Poof! The right passenger tire exploded (well, it blew a raspberry, actually.) Flat tire. Flat, 2 month old tire. Flat 200 dollar tire. With a slit in the side of it. Pooched.

“Coincidentally,” about a month ago, I bought unlimited roadside assistance. So, a nice guy showed up, and changed the tire for us.

“Coincidentally,” there was a Kal Tire 5.6 km down the road.

Here’s the non-Zen part: all the way to the tire place, I was a bit hard on myself. For not paying attention. For hitting the curb. For costing us 200 bucks. Dar mentioned how she sometimes gave herself grief over things she’d done in the car, and encouraged me to get out what I needed to get out, and then to move on.

I made myself quite miserable over the consequences of my inattention, then had a breath, and realized the following:

Drama = Imaginary consequences, imaginary scary stuff, imaginary mind games.
Reality = flat tire.

We arrived at Kal Tire. They were closing early for their Xmas Party, but the technician winked and said they’d fit us in. The guy then looked at the tire. “Yup. That one’s garbage. You’ll need a new one. Let me check the computer.”

Now, it had taken them, in October, a week to get the tires. He clicks, smiles, and says, “Got some in stock, and we’ll get it on before the party!”

We sat, waited, read. I thought, “Well, great. Getting the tire replaced so easily is wonderful, and 200 bucks is a small price to pay to be reminded to pay attention.”

At 2:45, the guy walks over, and hands me the paperwork.

“Job’s done. That tire had 3000km. on it, and we provide all hazards insurance on all our tires. So, no cost to you! Merry Xmas!”

We walked out, laughing a bit, over the drama I had created. Had a great lunch.

And I LOVE KAL TIRE!

But of course this little story is just fluff, and has nothing at all to do with your big, scary dramas.

Right?

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