Comments on: Clouds

Comments on: Clouds http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2010/02/08/clouds/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=clouds Wayne C. Allen - a simple Zen guy - writes about living and relating elegantly Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:53:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: wayne http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2010/02/08/clouds/#comment-614 wayne Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:36:47 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/?p=362#comment-614 Hi Chris, Thanks for the comment... and glad to have you reading! 1) Feelings - well, we are always feeling something, even if it's "neutral." The trick is to learn to differentiate bet. a feeling and a thought. So, "I feel warm toward you" is accurate, and "I feel you don't understand me" is a thought. The reason for doing this is to get us into our bodies, so we identify what's going on in there, and then share it (which some people choose to make difficult.) 2) What you do - I tend to be practical - so, what I feel is what I feel, as above. Doesn't mean anything, just "is." What I intend is all very nice, but also somewhat irrelevant by itself. A client might say, "I intend to use the communication model, and not yell." The only demonstration of this (the "integrity point") is that she uses the model, while not yelling. What I think is irrelevant, other than for comic relief. I'm just up there, picking and choosing - "Out of all the stories available to me, I'm stringing these together. " Nice information, and irrelevant to how I'm actually living. So, yes, I believe the test of one's integrity is that one does what one says, or acts in a self-responsible manner! Thanks for the questions! Hi Chris,
Thanks for the comment… and glad to have you reading!
1) Feelings — well, we are always feeling something, even if it’s “neutral.” The trick is to learn to differentiate bet. a feeling and a thought. So, “I feel warm toward you” is accurate, and “I feel you don’t understand me” is a thought. The reason for doing this is to get us into our bodies, so we identify what’s going on in there, and then share it (which some people choose to make difficult.)
2) What you do — I tend to be practical — so, what I feel is what I feel, as above. Doesn’t mean anything, just “is.” What I intend is all very nice, but also somewhat irrelevant by itself. A client might say, “I intend to use the communication model, and not yell.” The only demonstration of this (the “integrity point”) is that she uses the model, while not yelling. What I think is irrelevant, other than for comic relief. I’m just up there, picking and choosing — “Out of all the stories available to me, I’m stringing these together. ” Nice information, and irrelevant to how I’m actually living.
So, yes, I believe the test of one’s integrity is that one does what one says, or acts in a self-responsible manner!
Thanks for the questions!

]]> By: Chris http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2010/02/08/clouds/#comment-613 Chris Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:23:29 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/?p=362#comment-613 Hey! Great blog. I really should read it more often. I just make myself too busy... Argh. Anyway, I have a question about the "Haven Model". It's very nice. Seems logical and functional. But I'm not sure I agree with the "Feelings" segment. The others seem mandatory while Feelings seems optional. Do we really have to have an emotional response to everything? --- Next, I need to clarify a quote: "In Zen, and communication, and in life, what matters is not the stories we tell ourselves inside our pointy little heads, but rather what we do when confronted with a dilemma." So, to paraphrase, you're saying that "You are what you do.". Is that accurate? I've always wrestled with the options. You are what you do/think/intend/feel/etc. Hey! Great blog. I really should read it more often. I just make myself too busy… Argh.

Anyway, I have a question about the “Haven Model”. It’s very nice. Seems logical and functional. But I’m not sure I agree with the “Feelings” segment. The others seem mandatory while Feelings seems optional. Do we really have to have an emotional response to everything?

—

Next, I need to clarify a quote:

“In Zen, and communication, and in life, what matters is not the stories we tell ourselves inside our pointy little heads, but rather what we do when confronted with a dilemma.”

So, to paraphrase, you’re saying that “You are what you do.”. Is that accurate? I’ve always wrestled with the options. You are what you do/think/intend/feel/etc.

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