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Dar­bella and I just had a movie date

We watched the incred­i­ble Swedish movie take on Stieg Lars­son’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tat­too.” We’ve read the three books in the series, and I was amazed at how much the actor Noomi Rapace looks like I imag­ined the hero, Lis­beth Salan­der, would look. But I digress. If you haven’t read the Mil­len­nium Tril­ogy (the Salan­der books), you really need to.

With­out giv­ing away too many plot points, Lis­beth is set up, dropped into a men­tal hos­pi­tal, and is the tar­get of a con­spir­acy. In book 1, (“Dragon Tat­too”) she is 24, out on her own, and still being manip­u­lated by the conspirators.

The Swedish movie is amaz­ing, and sticks to the book (the book has been optioned by Hol­ly­wood, and I worry about what they’ll do with it…) — you soon real­ize that Salan­der has looked into the void, and found the void star­ing back. (Para­phras­ing Niet­zsche: “And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”, from “Beyond Good and Evil.”) There is a wari­ness to her, one that per­me­ates the books. And yet, she is a fiercely loyal (if a bit odd..) friend.

Salan­der was once a vic­tim. She learned to stand forth, to be real, and to fight back.

Niet­zsche was mak­ing a sem­i­nal point — the dan­ger of “soul work” — of look­ing deeply into the void, is that you are painted with the colours that you see. If you peer into evil, you have a greater chance to become evil.

The only thing that holds you back from this plunge into the depths is the strength of your will.

Salan­der is a revenge machine, but not in a mind­less way. There is no doubt that she has been “dam­aged” by the past — but it is equally clear that she has learned to stare into the void with­out blinking.

We might think of this as men­tal toughness.

In zazen, we do a sim­i­lar thing. This process of “just sit­ting” is also a “star­ing into the void,” and it becomes crys­tal clear that we are look­ing into our own “empti­ness.” If you just look, with­out leap­ing into story telling mode, then you up your tol­er­ance for “look­ing with­out blinking.”

Nor­mally, how­ever, we are any­thing but qui­es­cent. We start our story telling machines, and we are away to the races. We blame, we judge, we plot, and we give up.

What we do not do, is sit qui­etly, and then get up.

“Get­ting up” is short­hand for actu­ally doing some­thing. Any­thing. As opposed to falling into the void of our own sto­ries. Thus, the orig­i­nal image, and “No per­sons are to enter this void…”

Where we fall down is in per­son­al­iz­ing (using the ego) what is hap­pen­ing to us.
“Why is this hap­pen­ing?” is about a sit­u­a­tion.
“Why is this hap­pen­ing to me?” is an unan­swer­able ego question.

Or, if there is an answer, it is, “Why not you?” If you can step out of the ego posi­tion, you see that the “Why me?” ques­tion is a waste of time. Bet­ter: “What shall I do now?”

Last week, I quoted the Tao te Jing:

Tao te Jing 3.

… The Mas­ter leads
by clear­ing the crap
out of people’s heads
and open­ing their hearts.
He low­ers their aspi­ra­tions
and makes them suck in their guts.

He shows you how to for­get
what you know and what you want,
so nobody can push you around.
If you think you’ve got the answers,
he’ll mess with your head…
Ron Hogan

As the writer sug­gests, we can live with the crap in our heads, or we can find the depth in our hearts.

Now, this is not the airy fairy heart of Hall­mark Cards. This is heart of the war­rior, the heart of the poet, mys­tic, and artist. It is the heart of pas­sion, and the heart of courage. This is the heart that enacts life, as opposed to the head full of crap that keeps one stuck in fearsomeness.

The “lower aspi­ra­tions, and sucked in guts” is inter­est­ing. What he’s say­ing is that there is a fine bal­ance between the fan­tasies of what we think we want, and what we might actu­ally do. This is the dan­ger of star­ing into the void.

I see many peo­ple fall into the “Now that I have read books and done a few things, I know every­thing, and I’m spe­cial!” pit. The abyss has grabbed them firmly and is not about to let go. So, the Mas­ter “messes with your head.” He says black is white. He pries your fin­gers from your ego dri­ven need to be spe­cial, emp­ties you of your desires, and frees you to act.

How can this be?

In Zen we say, when eat­ing, eat. When paint­ing, paint. When sit­ting, sit. These things are done with­out aspi­ra­tion, with­out a goal, with lit­tle or no inter­nal drama or dialog.

You pick up a brush, and paint.

If you for­get what you know and what you want, you remove the lever­age oth­ers have over you — there is just what is going on, and then the next thing. You are able to be present and do what needs to be done.

Lis­beth Salan­der is a fic­tional char­ac­ter, but I find her attrac­tive (the movie actor is pretty close to my microdot… but I digress…) because she can walk into the void and not lose her­self in it. Her pain is very real, vis­ceral, and yet she is able to tran­scend and include it.

How dif­fer­ent from the norm, where all peo­ple want is escape — no pain. Impossible.

The void is not a place “out there” that we can ignore. That’s the irony. We bring the void with us, wher­ever we go. It’s a per­sonal space, con­tain­ing all of the things we fear, dread, or are reluc­tant to look at. Far from being neg­a­tive, the void is the home of our depth of being. It seems to be the anchor point between cre­ativ­ity and mad­ness. (Think van Gogh — his paint­ings clearly come from his abyss, and in a sense he lost him­self in there. With no one to guide his entrances and exits, he found his own path out.)

The trip­tych of paint­ings to the left is my lat­est work. I’m paint­ing again, after a decade long lay­off. The more I am will­ing to look into the void, the more I “see” of how shadow and light play together. This new series cap­tures moments of ecstasy, pas­sion, focus. There is a sense of “dance” that hap­pens on the can­vas and in my mind.

I have this same sense of dance as I do body­work, or coun­sel, and while I meditate.

I would be remiss if I did not give you a tool to explore this land­scape. There is a Bud­dhist med­i­ta­tion prac­tice called Ton­glen. This prac­tice is all about tak­ing into your heart pain and suf­fer­ing, through a in breath, and exhal­ing peace and healing.

I’ve bor­rowed a Ton­glen prac­tice (Ton­glen means, “giv­ing and receiv­ing.”) from the Naljor Prison Dharma Ser­vice, expanded it into a 4 step process, and also recorded it, if you’d like to lis­ten instead of read.)

The cycle can be as fol­lows: Ton­glen for self, for a loved one, for some­one with whom you have issues, for the world.

Audio of Ton­glen Practice

In Ton­glen prac­tice, through our com­pas­sion, we take on and embrace with­out resis­tance the var­i­ous suf­fer­ings of all beings, includ­ing our­selves: their fear, hurt, frus­tra­tion, pain, anger, guilt, bit­ter­ness, lone­li­ness, doubt, rage, and so forth. In return, we give them our loving-kindness, hap­pi­ness, peace of mind, well-being, heal­ing, and fulfillment.

Sit qui­etly, calm the mind, and cen­ter your­self. Iden­tify that part of you (your heart cen­tre) that is “all com­pas­sion, all the time.” Breathe light and com­pas­sion into your heart.

Now, reflect on the immense suf­fer­ing that you, and all beings every­where expe­ri­ence. Allow this suf­fer­ing to open your heart and awaken your com­pas­sion. You may also choose to invoke the pres­ence of all the Bud­dhas, Bod­hisattvas, and enlight­ened beings, so that through their inspi­ra­tion and bless­ing, com­pas­sion may be born in your heart. In this way, you are rest­ing in the enlight­ened nature of the mind. This Bud­dha nature is an inex­haustible source of purity, gen­eros­ity, and compassion.

Self

Open your­self to your own suf­fer­ing, pain, con­fu­sion, and dis­tress. As you feel your heart open­ing in com­pas­sion for your­self, imag­ine that all of your suf­fer­ing gath­ers itself into a mass of hot, black, grimy smoke.

Now, visu­al­ize breath­ing in this mass of black smoke, see­ing it dis­solve into the very core of your self-grasping (ego) at your heart cen­ter. There in your heart, it com­pletely destroys all traces of fear and self­ish­ness (self-cherishing) and puri­fies all of your neg­a­tive karma.

Imag­ine, now, that your fear, self-centeredness and neg­a­tive karma has been com­pletely destroyed, your enlight­ened heart is fully revealed. As you breathe out, imag­ine you are send­ing out the radi­ance of loving-kindness, com­pas­sion, peace, hap­pi­ness, and well-being to your­self. See this bril­liant radi­ance puri­fy­ing all of your neg­a­tive karma. Send out any feel­ings that encour­age heal­ing, relax­ation, and openness.

Con­tinue this “giv­ing and receiv­ing” with each breath for as long as you wish.

Loved One

Imag­ine in front of you, as clearly as pos­si­ble, some­one you care for who is suf­fer­ing. Open your­self to this person’s suf­fer­ing. Allow your­self to feel con­nected with him or her, aware of their dif­fi­cul­ties, pain, and dis­tress. Then, as you feel your heart open­ing in com­pas­sion toward the per­son, imag­ine that all of his or her suf­fer­ing comes out and gath­ers itself into a mass of hot, black, grimy smoke.

Now, visu­al­ize breath­ing in this mass of black smoke, see­ing it dis­solve into the very core of your self-grasping (ego) at your heart cen­ter. There in your heart, it com­pletely destroys all traces of fear and self­ish­ness (self-cherishing) and puri­fies all of your neg­a­tive karma.

Imag­ine, now, that your fear, self-centeredness and neg­a­tive karma has been com­pletely destroyed, your enlight­ened heart is fully revealed. As you breathe out, imag­ine you are send­ing out the radi­ance of loving-kindness, com­pas­sion, peace, hap­pi­ness, and well-being to this per­son. See this bril­liant radi­ance puri­fy­ing all of their neg­a­tive karma. Send out any feel­ings that encour­age heal­ing, relax­ation, and openness.

Con­tinue this “giv­ing and receiv­ing” with each breath for as long as you wish.

An “Enemy”

Now, imag­ine some­one with whom you have dif­fi­culty, or who you con­sider to be an enemy, or those who have hurt you or oth­ers. Open your­self to this person’s suf­fer­ing. Allow your­self to feel con­nected with him or her, aware of their dif­fi­cul­ties, pain, and dis­tress. Then, as you feel your heart open­ing in com­pas­sion toward the per­son, imag­ine that all of his or her suf­fer­ing comes out and gath­ers itself into a mass of hot, black, grimy smoke.

Now, visu­al­ize breath­ing in this mass of black smoke, see­ing it dis­solve into the very core of your self-grasping (ego) at your heart cen­ter. There in your heart, it com­pletely destroys all traces of fear and self­ish­ness (self-cherishing) and puri­fies all of your neg­a­tive karma.

Imag­ine, now, that your fear, self-centeredness and neg­a­tive karma has been com­pletely destroyed, your enlight­ened heart is fully revealed. As you breathe out, imag­ine you are send­ing out the radi­ance of loving-kindness, com­pas­sion, peace, hap­pi­ness, and well-being to this per­son. See this bril­liant radi­ance puri­fy­ing all of their neg­a­tive karma. Send out any feel­ings that encour­age heal­ing, relax­ation, and openness.

Con­tinue this “giv­ing and receiv­ing” with each breath for as long as you wish.

The World

Now, imag­ine all the peo­ple in the world — Reflect on the immense suf­fer­ing that all beings every­where expe­ri­ence. Allow their suf­fer­ing to open your heart and awaken your com­pas­sion. Open your­self to the suf­fer­ing of the peo­ple of the world. Allow your­self to feel con­nected with every­one, aware of their dif­fi­cul­ties, pain, and dis­tress. Then, as you feel your heart open­ing in com­pas­sion toward them, imag­ine that all of their suf­fer­ing comes out and gath­ers itself into a mass of hot, black, grimy smoke.

Now, visu­al­ize breath­ing in this mass of black smoke, see­ing it dis­solve into the very core of your self-grasping (ego) at your heart cen­ter. There in your heart, it com­pletely destroys all traces of fear and self­ish­ness (self-cherishing) and puri­fies all of your neg­a­tive karma.

Imag­ine, now, that your fear, self-centeredness and neg­a­tive karma has been com­pletely destroyed, your enlight­ened heart is fully revealed. As you breathe out, imag­ine you are send­ing out the radi­ance of loving-kindness, com­pas­sion, peace, hap­pi­ness, and well-being to all peo­ple in the world. See this bril­liant radi­ance puri­fy­ing all of their neg­a­tive karma. Send out any feel­ings that encour­age heal­ing, relax­ation, and openness.

Con­tinue this “giv­ing and receiv­ing” with each breath for as long as you wish.

At the end of your prac­tice, gen­er­ate a firm inner con­vic­tion that all beings have been freed of suf­fer­ing and neg­a­tive karma and are filled with peace, hap­pi­ness and well-being. You may also wish to ded­i­cate the merit and virtue of your prac­tice to the ben­e­fit of all sen­tient beings.

Make Con­tact!

So, how does this week’s arti­cle sit with you? What ques­tions do you have? Go to the top of this arti­cle, click on the title, and leave a com­ment or question!

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Work­shops, Retreats!

Dar­bella and I can help you to find a new, vibrant, rich path. We offer day-long and week­end events —just you and us—and we will work with you, to be the change you want to see.

Read about it here:

Day-long Inten­sives
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Tagged with: abyss • Nietzsche • Salander • void

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