You Are Only as You Do


You Are Only as You Do — Wishing and hoping get you nowhere. Imagining get you nowhere. Just do, and then do again!

In This Moment

I’m writing this on the Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend, and realize how much I have to be thankful for. I’m enjoying the ride, and looking forward to whatever comes next!

only do

The amazing Amanda Palmer has this song out — “In My Mind” — and it’s both great and interesting. Her writing and videos push the edge, and I love her.

Here are some of the lines from the song:

… I’m not exactly the person that I thought I’d be.

… I’ll never be the person that I thought I’d be.

I’m so busy with everything

That I don’t look at anything

But I’m sure I’ll look when I am older

… I don’t want to be the person that I want to be.

And in my mind

I imagine so many things

Things that aren’t really happening

And when they put me in the ground

I’ll start pounding the lid,

Saying, “I haven’t finished yet,

I still have a tattoo to get,

It says, ‘I’m living in the moment’”.

And maybe it’s funniest of all

To think I’ll die before I actually


That I am exactly the person that I want to be.

I’d say, “I am exactly the person that I enact,” because you are as you do.

The easiest way to get what’s going on here is to substitute “imagined” for “thought.”

… I’m not exactly the person that I imagined I’d be.

… I’ll never be the person that I imagined I’d be.

We have in our heads remarkable stories… who we were, how we grew up, and what we imagine we shall be, some day, if all goes well, and the creek don’t rise.

And all of it is imaginary. It’s all a pastiche (always wanted to use that word!) made up of the raw material stored between our ears.

It’s concocted out of raw, meaningless data, to support whatever “plot line” we’ve decided upon for our “story.” As Amanda sings,

And in my mind

I imagine so many things

Things that aren’t really happening”

In my soon to be released (early 2013???) new book, The. Best. Relationship. Ever., I write:

The TV show “24” shot 26 hours of film for every one hour segment. The director and the editors took 26 hours of film and boiled it down to a one hour, real-time segment.

Now, think. How many possible plot points, perspectives, and directions are contained in that 26 hours of film? It’s infinite. Yet, once it’s edited and “in the can,” it’s condensed down to only one version. And, get this. The scenes chosen, out of endless possibilities, matches the predetermined script!

This is what we do, all the time, as we review every instance (plot-point) in our long lives. We edit, we ignore stuff, we stitch together unrelated events, and we tell ourselves that the concoction is “my life.”

However, it’s a story.

So, recognize this, and let go.

…Being present is having a love affair with Now. The “24″ illustration is important. It explains why you can go through a situation with someone, and when discussing it, hear two different stories.

It’s not that one story is “true,” and the other “false.” It’s that each person filters (chooses the scenes out of all the scenes filmed) the data through their expectations (their script.)

The past is a story, and “who I want to be” is a fantasy.

Amanda concludes,

And maybe it’s funniest of all

To think I’ll die before I actually


That I am exactly the person that I want to be.

Many do die before they see that wishing and hoping and dreaming and game-playing is not the same as living.

this is meThis is me, right now… living

It’s not about living in your head — it’s about living in the real world. In the here and now, there is this moment and a choice — how will I “be” with this, dance with this, engage 100% — with this.

No plans, no stories, no wishing, no imagining.

I am exactly and precisely who I am, right now.

Having a tattoo, loudly declaring that “I get it,” coming up with excuses about why later is better than now, all diversions, and unreal.

Amanda, in the video, was (during filming) exactly and precisely the woman in the video, and nothing and no-one else. Her artistic expression of herself is her, selfing.

It doesn’t matter how she conceived of the video. It is exactly as she enacted it.

Your mind is a fun toy, but much like an X-box. No matter how real the graphics, it’s a game, and when you interact with it, you are game-playing. If that is your choice, great!

    • If you desire to get a degree, paint a painting, create a business, write a novel, then stop imagining how great it will be to finish, and start the damn thing! Do it.
    • If you dream of an elegant relationship, engage, right now, elegantly. Buy my new book, when it’s done, and learn how. But don’t whine, do it.
    • If you imagine yourself living fully some day, have a breath, and embrace right now. Live fully here, with no reference to “then.”
    • If you believe you’re here for a reason, live it now, no excuses.

    Dance the moment, see your face, and be you.

    You are exactly the person you enact. All the time. How could it be otherwise?

    Make Contact!

    So, how does this week’s article sit with you? What questions do you have? Leave a comment or question!

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    4 Comments on "You Are Only as You Do"

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    3 years 28 days ago

    Aha Wayne, wise words — we are exactly as we enact. Anything we don’t enact hasn’t come to fruition whether we want it, think about it or hope for it, despite the story I sometimes tell myself.

    3 years 1 month ago

    Because I can so elegantly get what I don’t want, this ‘stop whining and get on with it’ message is exactly what I needed to hear today, Wayne. Thanks!

    I also recently heard a song by the Avett Brothers called “Road Full of Promise, Head Full of Doubt” with a line that says, ‘Decide what to be and go be it’. Yup.

    And hey, I’ll be first in line to buy your book so keep me in the publishing date loop :)