Weekend Residentials

Darbella and I just finished up leading another of our Weekend Residentials, and I thought I'd describe the process.

We've been doing these (as well as Day-Long Intensives) for some years now, and people have arrived from all over the continent, by plane, train, bus, and car. I'm not holding out much hope for arrival by boat, unless it's by canoe down the Grand River…

Our initial thinking was that this was a good way to help people who lived at a distance from us.

They'd be able to do a large block of work in a short period of time, while also having a bit of down time, and also enjoying our admittedly excellent cooking. I've been surprised, then, of the popularity of the Weekend Residential with people who are quite local.

We tackle pretty much any topic, and work with individuals or couples. The couple work tends to be focused on communication—improving and deepening communication skills—or on discovering exactly where the relationship stands. In addition to teaching/reviewing the communication model, we look at things like breath and Bodywork, aspects of conflict resolution, and issues of affection, intimacy, and sex.

For individuals, we've worked with writer's block, with meditation and eastern approaches to fully living life, and have spent the weekend training others in the clinical use of Bodywork. We've explored sexuality, both through dialogue and through hands on work—using various and sundry Bodywork techniques designed to open the participant's body to more passion, focus, and emotional and sexual release.

I suspect that these weekends are so effective simply because they are time and focus intense.

In a way, there is no escape. We do some form of work, from dialogue, through breath and Bodywork, for 10 hours during the weekend, and provide suggestions and exercises for the participants to experiment with during the downtime.

Compare this to weekly, biweekly, or monthly one hour sessions.

Clients tend to work hard for the hour or two of the session, and then go right back into "normal" life. While this standard model (and admittedly, 90% of my clients follow this path) is effective, it's easy enough to "forget to practice."

With a Residential, it's sort of right there, in front of you, and you have a continual flow of feedback from Dar and me. Which is the other nice thing about this.

Dar is an elegant and succinct counterpoint to me and my oft-times wordiness. I amuse myself at how I might take several minutes to make a point, and then Dar tosses in one or two sentences that really nail what I was saying. She has her own perspective on this work, and her skill is fun to watch.

The two on one or two on two dynamic of the weekend is a real gift.

It's a time to engage deeply and fully, and anything and everything can be explored in depth. This is possible, I suspect, because there is such a flexible block of time, and absolutely nothing else is going on—there are no distractions. We're working with that one person or one couple, and that's it.

I suspect that living together under the same roof for this period of time causes some sense of shared purpose and effort. I feel a sense of focused commitment that leads to much more clarity for participant and us alike.

The other thing I've noticed is how side issues or undiscovered issues pop to the surface.

It's as if this process opens the door to the possibility of dealing with essential stuff that has either been ignored or perhaps not even noticed. It's as if in the spaciousness of the time and the framework for exploration, the body and mind are freed to go in new directions.

And given that we couple talking with breath and Bodywork of any type or description, there's the possibility of deep experimentation, the pushing of limits, and the letting go of decades of accumulated cruft. (I've always wanted to use that word…)

We're also pleased to note a building trend of people requesting a weekend to work on meditation and what we call "depth work." We're delighted to offer people a weekend getaway—time to "sit," to discuss the bigger picture, or to be in silence.

We provide a safe harbour for exploration of the meaning of life and the meaning of the person. It's a powerful thing to have the details—room, food, distraction elimination—taken care of for you.

Anyway, after some 10 years or so of this process, we remain impressed with the results, and also amuse ourselves over how much we enjoy the process—as we notice how much we learn about each other as we work together.

If this sounds like something you'd like to experiment with, drop us an e-mail. We'd be delighted to work with you—intensively!