The Dead Mom Discount — So, I usually only post once a week, but Darbella and I were driving around tonight, and Dar reminded me of the following story. I just had to share it.
November 5th this year was the 10th anniversary of my mom’s death. I’ve been in a reflective mood lately, likely because of this 10 year anniversary, and because I’m turning 60 on January 3rd.
Anyway, 10 years ago, the day after she died, I was having a nap, and feeling sad, and playing with being a half-orphan. The doorbell rang, and Darbella answered.
Soon, the patter of Dar feet was heard, coming up the stairs.
“There’s a guy downstairs, and he won’t leave until he talks to “the man of the house. —
Sighing, I headed downstairs. I was confronted with a semi-scruffy Newfie. (I read his truck’s advertising…)
“Sir, I’m noticing that your roof is in need of re-shingling.”
“Sir, we have a great deal for you. $1000.00 dollars. We take leftover asphalt from our driveway business, and spray it all over your roof. It won’t leak and it’s nice and shiny black!”
“You have got to be kidding. You want to spray my roof with liquid asphalt? Go away.”
“Sir, this is much cheaper than re-shingling, and we clean up the drips.”
I’d had it. My head hurt, I was grieving, and this dip-shit wanted to spray my roof with asphalt. But mommy trained me up to be polite, so I said,
“Please. Go away. My mom died yesterday, and I don’t want my roof sprayed.”
He looked shocked, and sad.
“Oh sir, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude…”
I started to close the door.
“I tell ya what. Since your mom has just died, I’ll give you a 300.00 dollar discount!”
I just shut the door.
Dar was behind me. I looked at her. We resisted for a second, but soon were collapsed on the floor, laughing like fools.
“Asphalt on the roof!”
“And… and… I just got offered my first dead mother discount!”
My mother would have thought it hilarious.
The cosmos, I’ve always said, has a wicked sense of humour.