It is almost as if western culture has spawned several generations of ‘helpless victims’ seeking redress for crimes, real or imagined, committed against them. This victim mentality often rears its head when something goes wrong, and things often do go wrong—due another western concept–that of unlimited freedom.
How I view my reality is solely and completely a result of my upbringing, experiences, and history. The only authentic question is–is the way I am interpreting my reality helping or hurting me? If my interpretation is hurt-filled, I can continue to try to force the world to see it my way, or I can bring peace.
Emotions arrive unbidden. Infants / children experience them without the filters later applied to them. Soon, the tribal ‘takeâ€™ on each emotional state is force fed to the child. “Big boys donâ€™t cry.â€ “Sugar and spice and everything niceâ€¦â€ “What have you to be angry about?â€ or “Iâ€™ll give you something to be angry about.â€ “If you keep pouting your face will freeze that way.â€
Now, you may think that this is unimportant, but I can guarantee that you have a whole list of internal and not-thought-through ‘rulesâ€™ about emotions.
We do not normally think about the interrelatedness of the stages of our development, because we actually do not remember much of it. Most of us only have fleeting memories of ourselves prior to age 6 or so. What is going on, however, is that parents and tribes are giving the child an ‘ego-self.’ This is done by tribal blessing of socially approved of behaviours, while condemning behaviours the tribes frown upon.