Equanimity
Equanimity — we all have issues dealing with our ‘pet’ emotions — mostly, we want them gone. Not possible. Equanimity in the face of them — possible!
Wayne C. Allen - a simple Zen guy - writes about living and relating elegantly
Equanimity — we all have issues dealing with our ‘pet’ emotions — mostly, we want them gone. Not possible. Equanimity in the face of them — possible!
Our emotions and feelings are as much a part of us as our thoughts. We profit from learning to express them, as opposed to judging them, and then shutting them down.
Since it seems that what I do most when working with couples is talk about communication, I thought I might write an article or two about this topic.
I suspect that the reason that most couples have problems in this area is that most people have grown up witnessing poor communication. So let me define a few things that good communication is not.
I just worked with a client who was new both to me and to bodywork. I realized that I tend to assume that people “get” what I do, prior to my explaining it, especially if they found me on my website. This week, with 3 new clients, I discovered that the interconnection between body, mind, feelings, and “teachings” is not so clear to them.
To quote David Schnarch, in “Passionate Marriage,” a primary relationship is a crucible. In other words, the heat of the relationship is the “thing” that makes the crucible’s contents pure. Thus, in the heat of dialog and passion, the couple enters into a proving and refining ground that makes each person more “him or herself.”
The straight-jacket of delusion is caused by an internal process. In other words, we are straight-jacketed by what goes on between our ears. Not all of our mental games, but assuredly the “knowing” part.