Since it seems that what I do most when working with couples is talk about communication, I thought I might write an article or two about this topic.
I suspect that the reason that most couples have problems in this area is that most people have grown up witnessing poor communication. So let me define a few things that good communication is not.
I just worked with a client who was new both to me and to bodywork. I realized that I tend to assume that people “get” what I do, prior to my explaining it, especially if they found me on my website. This week, with 3 new clients, I discovered that the interconnection between body, mind, feelings, and “teachings” is not so clear to them.
To quote David Schnarch, in “Passionate Marriage,” a primary relationship is a crucible. In other words, the heat of the relationship is the “thing” that makes the crucible’s contents pure. Thus, in the heat of dialog and passion, the couple enters into a proving and refining ground that makes each person more “him or herself.”