You are conditioned to judge, and then to seek a ‘cure,’ as if you are separate from your judgement, and separate from what your are judging. What I’m working on communicating is that getting all of this involves seeing through duality to the underlying unity. But notice–seeing through something means that the thing is there, and you are now seeing through it.
We like to believe that things are unchanging, fixed, immovable. You hear people say, “I’ll always love you.” “That will never happen.” “I only want to be happy.” (That last one should be put, “I want to be happy only.”) And yet, emptiness is the rule, as everything is impermanent, changing. That’s what’s up with the client, above. Her partner changed, and she decided she didn’t like it. Yet, change is the essential ingredient of existence.
It’s an odd one, how many people think that the reason something they are doing doesn’t work is that they aren’t trying hard enough. Or, they think that, with a little extra persuasion (from me, from their partner, from their doctor or some other authority figure,) the non-working thing will magically shift.
Maybe, just maybe, it doesn’t work because it’s the wrong approach!
It takes both courage and persistence to change what does not and has never worked into something that does work. This is radically different from what I see a lot of. People expecting others to change so they can be happy, for example. Then they learn a few skills and find better ways to talk, but the message is the same: “I expect you to change, or the world to change. I have all my beliefs and affirmations in place, and here I sit, waiting.”