Taking Action

Living your life is a solo project, undertaken in the presence of friends. This step involves a sustained, aggressive, and non-judgemental examination of who you are, what you are doing, and how you are framing your reality. We insist that the essential component is the requirement of non-judgement.


It is impossible to live life free of anxiety. There is the anxiety that comes when deciding to shift one’s way of being—the anxiety of change, of pain, of growth. And, there is the anxiety of trying to stay the same, in denial, pretending. Shifting, to me, seems the better choice. From there, I can be intimate, and choose to love well.

The Tao of Relationship

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that my back goes up a bit when Dar says, ‘You might want to look at what you are setting up there.’ I am so invested in my story, my preconceived notion of what is going on, that I have to really work at ‘just looking, just seeing.’ I want it to be the way I imagine it, as I have my self, my view, and my distress all rolled up in the game.


The reason people come to me is simple: they are not OK with some aspect of their lives, and they want my help to change the external thing. Or, there is some aspect of their internal theatre that they hate–an emotion, a way of being, that they disagree with, and want changed.

It’s a hard thing for them to accept that the first step in our work together is that we start from where the client is—by accepting that ‘the way it is, is the way it is.’