I’m suggesting that you examine your emotional list, and discover what you’re clinging to.
Emotions, in and of themselves, do not mean anything. Thoughts, in and of themselves, do not mean anything. You are not your thoughts, and you are not your emotions.
Emotions & Thoughts are things you have, not things that you are.
Letting go of clinging is all about detaching from identifying with these internal processes.
Thereâ€™s no question that in every life, stuff happens. Some of the stuff that happens is really, really uncomfortable. Some of it even qualifies as a full-blown trauma. Itâ€™s important to recognize that my goal here is never to diminish or negate the traumatic experiences that you have experienced. However, healing and moving on requires one thing. You must learn that trauma is one real moment in time. Thus, a trauma does not go on. What can go on is imagining (and suffering over) this past event.
Now, let me say something radicalâ€”almost all parenting (with the exception of abuse) is the best the parent can do. They learned how to be, to relate, and to parent from their parents, and most have not explored any of this strange knowledge with a competent professional.
Most parents, then, are parenting by the seat of their pants, and are screwing up at least part of the time.